I gave this eulogy for my uncle, Suresh N. Shah, over Zoom in May 2021.
Jay Shree Krishna
My uncle, Suresh N. Shah, passed on Friday, April 30, 2021 to rejoin his best friends — my father, Arun Shah, and his uncle Krishna(kant) Shah.
I am truly heartbroken that I could not travel during these COVID times to see him in his final days. Since his uncles Krishna Kaka and Jagdish Kaka passed about 18 years ago, Suresh Kaka had been the head of the Laxmichand Chagganlal (my great-grandfather) clan. Suresh Kaka was also a second father to me.
He had a brilliant, outgoing spirit, and his presence would light-up every room that he entered. People that knew him were always delighted to see him. And, for those that didn’t know him, he left a lasting impression on whomever he met. Most of all, Suresh Kaka was a man of deep spiritual faith, and from this faith sprang his energy and actions. His faith gave him the strength to be fearless and drove his sincere generosity that reverberated well beyond his immediate reach.
I learned so much from him — how to make people feel comfortable and earn their trust, to believe in myself, and to give more than you receive. My own journey with faith and spirituality was shaped by his. Although I could fill pages recounting his stories, I will focus on a few that deeply influenced me.
On every visit to India, Suresh Kaka wanted me to spend all my time with him. As a child, I spent the summers at his home in Vile Parle, Mumbai. Instead of killing time watching TV, he insisted that I accompany him in his office at the Bombay Stock Exchange nearly every day. I would listen to him talk about his business with family and friends in the hours long commute both ways. At his office, I enjoyed tasty “chutney” sandwiches, toasted sandwiches, shots of chai, and other seasonal Indian snacks that he loved to order — nearly every hour. When I got bored, I would climb the stairs up and down in the stock exchange building — and unbeknownst to me — found myself on the trading floor a couple of times, which literally was in the stairwell on the second floor. In those days, many transactions were still done in cash, and I learned to efficiently and accurately count piles of Rupees. I learned the most, however, by watching his every interaction inside and outside of his office.
Although Suresh Kaka did not have more than a humble high school education, it was clear why he was so successful. He had an impeccable reputation in business and as a man with a heart of gold. Beyond the innumerable gutsy trades (he knew the market well) and business calls that he made, he treated every client like family. He would know how they first met, their relatives’ names, where their children were going to school, when they would graduate and need jobs, and who was getting married and when. He would tirelessly attend every function, wedding, or funeral to which he was invited. It wasn’t just his clients, he treated everyone with the same care. For example, in times of recession, he would offer office jobs to recent graduates as well as tenured people that couldn’t find any. Everyone in the community knew him, and everyone knew that they could trust him. With him around, people felt safe. I learned how to build and maintain relationships from him.
I also learned the art of giving from him. Before my wedding in 1998, I wanted to donate extra earnings from my internships. He travelled with me and showed me his way of giving. Gifts were both personal and unconditional. Instead of just donating to charitable organizations, he gave to individuals — people he knew that were in need.
We went to Karnali, a small religious town near Vadodra, on the banks of the river Narmada where our family had helped to setup an ashram. This was his and my father’s paradise. Kaka took me into modest homes. I remember one family we visited that lived in a mud hut with a single clay oven. He treated them with the same care as his Mumbai clients — asking about children and marriages. Then, we ordered bags of grain, oil, and flour — essentials they could use for the year. Although their modesty brought apprehension for accepting the donation, he would remind them that this is how God helps — not by appearing as a magical apparition from above, but through the work of those more fortunate. Suresh Kaka knew that the wealth he had was ephemeral and that this is how he would do God’s work. I learned effective altruism from him.
Suresh Kaka didn’t have any sons, so he treated me like his own. He not only arranged my wedding, but also took care of all my family’s needs in India beyond that. At my wedding, he was proud to have served over 800 guests, most of whom were his friends and acquaintances that had never met me or my wife. Even well after my marriage, he travelled with me all across India, and was always by my side, as far as his health would allow. In 2009, I spent a few weeks with him traveling all around — from Mumbai to Gujarat — visiting temples and ashrams. Those that knew him knew that he was tireless and often got restless. We did not stay in one place for more than a few hours. We were on a schedule from sunrise to the time we went to bed.
When my father had his first stroke in April 2016, he came to support me in Saratoga, CA. He went to the hospital daily and sat by his side. Although my father could not communicate with him, I believe Kaka’s presence helped my father with the motivation to get better. In November 2019, Kaka was truly saddened by my father’s passing. Nonetheless, Kaka arranged every detail of the final rites and rituals for my father in Karnali, India. There, on a cool and soft November morning under the bodhi tree on the banks of the Narmada, he confided in me what he wanted after his death. He told me his desire to separate his assets into four equal parts, and give each daughter one quarter share as well as donate one quarter to charity. He asked me to perform his final rites and rituals. I’m am heartbroken that I could not travel to fulfill his wish because of COVID.
Even in his retirement years, his energy did not wane. All it took was one phone call, and people moved their schedules for him. He enjoyed his retirement at the same pace as he lived the rest of his life. When he found out about his cancer, he was really unhappy. He did not fear death — rather he dreaded a sedentary lifestyle where he could not move around and live a carefree and energetic life. The last two months of his life did not match his style. Even still, despite COVID, he found a way to visit his two favorite places — his hometown of Sardav and the ashram in Karnali — and fulfill his last desires. I am so glad for that.
Suresh Kaka helped people far and wide, emptying both his pockets and his soul. The proof of his success is in the success of his extended family, including myself. While I do not wish to see him go, I am so grateful that he lived his life the way he wanted, always active, traveling far and wide, without suffering.
May the almighty give him true and everlasting peace. (1940-2021)
Jay Shree Krishna